Singing Happy Birthday with a Lump in My Throat.

Three. That is how old my baby girl turned yesterday. At 6:19pm to be exact. I, like any mother, will never forget every detail of the day she was born. Since I was running a fever and my blood pressure suddenly shot up, she came into this world at 35 weeks. I ended up with bronchitis and she ended up with reflux and lots of allergies. It was the beginning of the hardest and most daunting 18 months of my life. It was also the day that my heart started beating outside of my chest. Now, Emma Kate is a healthy and happy three year old. She is kind and loving, funny and loud, and always doing one of the following three things: "reading" her books, singing very loud-not just songs but thoughts, random words and a historical accounting of her day up to that point, or talking. She is never quiet unless she is sleeping. She is very intuitive and HATES when anyone is sad. And there was a lot of sadness this weekend.

Emma Kate Sunday (her actual bday) having a breakfast cupcake

I wasn't sure how much of this to put in blogland, as it is painful and sad, but I want those who love and care for me and my family to know that we are okay.

Late last week, my mother called me at work to tell me that my sweet Ma-Ma was back in the hospital. Over the last three years, she had been in and out of the hospital--usually brief stays--for fluid on her brain that caused her to act oddly and sometimes even non-responsive. She was having another one of those episodes and my mother left her school and headed for the hospital in Selma. On her drive there, she was told that it was much more serious than her previous "episodes" and they were airlifting my MaMa to Birmingham.
I wanted to drop everything, hop in a car and head North. But I still have pneumonia and I wouldn't be able to see her. And, it is EK's birthday weekend, with things planned for Friday, Saturday and Monday. So I stayed. Since we are a LARGE family, there were text messages and phone calls and IM's and facebooks. Constant receiving and giving of updates on MaMa's situation.
I will not go into much detail, but my MaMa suffered and aneurysm and chances of full recovery are very slim.

We stayed in Auburn and tried to proceed like normal. Danny, Melinda and the kids came Saturday for the Auburn game/birthday party. Our friends Paige and Graham came, too. We cheered for Auburn and opened presents and ate cupcakes and blew out candles. All the time, our thoughts were on MaMa and PaPa and Mom.

Matthew, Emma Kate, Sean, Jospeh and Sweet Laura

On top of that, it is November. Nearing the anniversary of Mike's wreck and the thought of a loved one in an Neuro-ICU this time of year puts a lump in my throat. Saturday, as I watched Alabama v. LSU, I thought of my in-laws and I watching the same game, 6 years ago in the UAB waiting room while we waited for the next 15 minute visit we got with Mike every 4 hours. Then I thought of my mom, in a waiting room with the Alabama v. LSU game playing on some TV in the background as she waited for the next 15 minute visitation with her mother. Makes me nauseous just to think of it.

Emma Kate and her GiGi (my MaMa) August 09

I had ups and downs all weekend. I was so excited to see the pure joy in EK's eyes when she got to hang out with her cousins, or how proud she was to tell you that her "birfday is Nowember eigths and she is free (three). "

Emma Kate at her school Bday "Party" on Friday

I do not think I would have smiled the entire weekend without my little Emma Kate. Even though my heart is so very heavy today, it is also full because of my little "free" year old who prays for her GiGi (my ma-ma) every night.