If I had never become a mother....

I was thinking the other day, what if I had never become a mother? How would my life be different? Not in a bad way, just thinking. This is what I realized...

I would not know what it feels like to have your newborn smile at you for the first time.

I would not have Poison Control as one of my TMobile Favs.

I would not start thinking about Halloween costumes and birthday themes four months in advance.

I would never have wondered "Is that chocolate or poop?"

I would have never showered with the door open.

I would not be OK with someone else wanting to flush the toilet after I used it.

I would have never asked for a case of Alimentum formula as a Christmas gift. (That stuff is liquid gold).

I would have never spend gazillions on cute shoes that squeak, while I get by with one pair of three-year-old flip flops.

I would have never cried while strangers strapped my baby down to a table to do a bunch of medical tests.

I would have never heard another person call me "mommy.'

I would have never fully understood all that my mom went through.

I would have never questioned doctors like I did when Emma Kate was sick.

I would not buy Lucky Charms, diapers and band-aids in bulk.

I would not understand what true love was.

I would not nod in understanding when someone else's child is screaming while they wait for their grilled cheese sandwich in a restaurant.

I would not keep my permanent markers under lock and key.

I would not know how much God loves me.

I would not know where the best SANTA is before Christmas.

I would not know the words to the theme song for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or the words to Good Night Moon.

I would not know how much it hurts to discipline someone you love.

I would have never been puked on only to leave it there until I cleaned up my child, my carpet and my dog first....then me.

I would have never high fived a person and jumped up and down while singing a Hallelujah simply because another human pee peed in the potty.

And finally, I would not know pure joy.